There are few days that are as loaded as the very first day of the year. A quiet moment on this day and you cannot help but reflect, dream, and even wonder a little. For it is the one day of the year that almost forces you to stop and take note. Like a natural check and balance of what you have in your moments behind and what you dream for in the days ahead. At least if feels that way for me.
As I dust off the cobwebs and try to remember how to write to you (man it has been too long), I can’t help but feel like everything I type is hiding behind a a veil of “aren’t you going to tell them” or maybe “how are you going to open up and not share what is really going on”. I have to tell you, it is really hard to write anything with that looming overhead. So instead, I am going to just be me and share it all. That is really the only way I know how to be.
Before I leave you in a panic, let me just say all that I have to share is good news. It is just uncertain news and so I should pause and welcome you to my coaster ride. You are more than welcome to get off now, this is your warning, just click the magic x there in the corner and poof you are free! Or instead you can buckle up and ride this ride with our family over the next year (or maybe more).
You see we are creeping up on what will be 19 years of living the miltary life. That puts us a rocks throw away from retirement and now with an early retirement option, we may be just MONTHS away. This, this is wonderful news. For it is time for Matt and I to create our nest. A nest for our little ones to fly from. A nest that is stable and our little ones know how to find. A nest that is surrounded by people who love us and support us. What is there to not love about that?
What if I told you there is great comfort in our norm. Even though it has its share of crazy ups and downs, it is all we have known in our adult life. It has been a path full of amazing friends who have become family and living in places most could only dream of visiting. It has also had its share of lonely nights and days, single parenting, and hardships too. So you can see why it is like living on a merry go round, spinning so fast and living a life that is dreamy yet not for the weak of stomach….now imagine jumping off that spinning merry go round.
Trying to visualize our footing and what life will look like standing still is a bit unreal for me. It leaves my heart racing as I fall asleep and my mind spinning when I awake. It can be consuming, ninety percent joy and excitement mixed with 10 percent anxiety. For the number buffs in my world.
In an attempt to quiet my mind Matt suggested a walk in the woods today. The path was speckeled with puddles covered in sheets of ice. Jack giggled as he tried to throw his rock in only to hear it go “thunk” against the ice. As I smiled and watched him play I couldn’t help but feel a peace come over me. Watching the rocks skim across the ice where they sat all lined up was so neat and then, then one broke through and oh how he giggled. For me there was something so symbolic when that rock broke through and dove in.
That is us, breaking ice, starting new and paving the way for our family to nest.
Yes, the 365 is back this year. Feel free to follow along as I share our story. It could be quite a year…
Until Soon,
SN
