I came upstairs to post my picture of the day. None of them seemed to fit. I then thought, maybe that means it hasn’t been taken yet. So I went back down the stairs to find Jonathen curled up on the couch with his bowl of ice cream piled high in his bowl. At that second I turned and pointed with a smile to my husband. THAT IS SO YOU! I thought in that instant this is the picture for today. Jonathen being just like Dad. So I took the shot and came back upstairs. I had a huge moment when I went to write the title of this picture. Oh my goodness. This IS the moment of today. Let me back up.
My morning started by waking to a picture of my oldest posted on my fb wall, with two shiny new holes in his face. My heart must have skipped a beat before it fell to the floor. Piercings. In that instant it was my worst case scenario, hours later and I realize the stupidity in that thought, but in that moment it really was.
Not because I am against piercings or self expression. Some of my fondest memories of my cousins were when they had all different shades of hair – blue, purple…the whole nine. But this just didnt seem like a match to me. Mostly because the piercings didnt match the Tyler I knew from a Mom’s heart. That was the part that was hard. Only because it led to questions like, will people judge him and treat him differently? Will he get the job he really wants this year? Will he make the same friends, attract the same people that match his insides? Those are big, scary questions for a Mom. A Mom who only wants the absolute best for her son.
So while Tyler was still at home we nurtured him out of wanting the piercings, hoping that if we kept having him wait, he would outgrow the need to express himself that way. I thought we had done it. The skinny jeans got looser, the hair got shorter, the goals got more determined and then nature got the best of him. His freedom, his surroundings, his desire to be pierced won after all!
The hours passed today and I realized how silly all these thoughts are. My job, my only job at this stage of his life is to love him, his shiny holes, and to support him. I did my nurturing. I did it to the best of my abilities and as Tyler told me today – “Mom, you protected me from far worse than this, you did a good job”. And for that sentence, those shiny things are almost, almost worth it!
Now for Jonathen’s ice cream, does loving that cold creaminess come from your genes or from watching Daddy love it too? That debate seems far less dramatic!
